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nc: oh, me either. how did you get martin
rossiter to sing for your band? have gene split up, then? do you
think you could get me a date with him? i really need to meet a
cute, frigid, miserable bastard. my life is seriously incomplete at
the moment.
db: it’s not martin rossiter, silly. it’s leonard
rossiter. astonishingly, gene haven’t split up. in fact they
played three gigs in a row round the corner from my house the other
week. but i didn’t throw them any loose change. i think martin
rossiter is still pretending to be straight, even though his wife
has left him. poor chap.
nc: his “wife”? is that code for something?
we have a caller on line four, otis from nebraskarkana (a real
person, believe it or not), who wants to know a) are suede members
going to show up on a boyfriends record and b) what’s richard up
to?
db: no but you can expect them to show up at some of
our gigs. along with members of a band called radiohead apparently,
though the first i knew about it was when i read it in the nme.
i haven’t seen richard since our leaving party. i think he’s
moving house at the mo.
nc: describe your sexual identity in a pithy phrase
or remark, please. and remember that whatever you say will come back
to haunt you for a decade.
db: i see myself as a heterosexual who’s had plenty of homosexual
experiences. but you can’t beat fanny.
nc: i don’t know about that. my mom used to
beat my fanny all the time. what's a worst-case-scenario
sexual experience with one of your bandmates like?
db: a sexual experience with any of my bandmates
would be a worst case scenario. in fact, an even worse case
scenario.
nc: what was your favorite catchphrase of the last
year?
db: i can categorically deny any rumours about suede
splitting up. |
