high barnett
by nc haze
suede.net forum regular nc haze gets david barnett talking about the boyfriends,
weird sex stuff and roof climbing while high.

nc: how are you, mr. david? how's life?
db: like a bowl of cherries.

nc: what have you been up to since the demise of sis?
db:  largely replying to stupid questionnaires and filling in applications for jobs i don’t want.

nc: stupid questionnaires?  oh, right. so, what's the funniest thing you've done in the last month?
db: recording guest vocals on the latest art brut masterpiece along with about three hundred other bands.

nc: what's the lamest thing you've done in the last month? besides this interview, i mean.
db: appearing on stage with art brut along with about three hundred other bands.

nc: what's the latest on the boyfriends? any news on a future label or single?
db: our debut release is "no tomorrow" which will be included on the second compilation album by the fabulous angular recording corporation www.angularrecords.co.uk due for release around late may/early june i think.

nc: compare the boyfriends to the darkness.
db: aside from the fact that they are considerably richer than us, i can’t really see much difference.

nc: oh, me either.  how did you get martin rossiter to sing for your band? have gene split up, then? do you think you could get me a date with him? i really need to meet a cute, frigid, miserable bastard. my life is seriously incomplete at the moment.
db: it’s not martin rossiter, silly. it’s leonard rossiter. astonishingly, gene haven’t split up. in fact they played three gigs in a row round the corner from my house the other week. but i didn’t throw them any loose change. i think martin rossiter is still pretending to be straight, even though his wife has left him. poor chap.

nc: his “wife”?  is that code for something?  we have a caller on line four, otis from nebraskarkana (a real person, believe it or not), who wants to know a) are suede members going to show up on a boyfriends record and b) what’s richard up to? 
db: no but you can expect them to show up at some of our gigs. along with members of a band called radiohead apparently, though the first i knew about it was when i read it in the nme. i haven’t seen richard since our leaving party. i think he’s moving house at the mo.

nc: describe your sexual identity in a pithy phrase or remark, please. and remember that whatever you say will come back to haunt you for a decade.
db: i see myself as a heterosexual who’s had plenty of homosexual experiences. but you can’t beat fanny.

nc: i don’t know about that.  my mom used to beat my fanny all the time.  what's a worst-case-scenario sexual experience with one of your bandmates like?
db: a sexual experience with any of my bandmates would be a worst case scenario. in fact, an even worse case scenario.

nc: what was your favorite catchphrase of the last year?
db: i can categorically deny any rumours about suede splitting up.

nc: what will you miss most about sis, and why?
db: my work colleagues. well, some of them.

nc: what will you miss most about suede, and why?
db: free entry to music festivals.

nc: better drums: 'kings of the wild frontier' or 'the drowners'?
db: kings, obviously!

nc: your book was delightful. when's the next one happening?
db: not for a long, long time. if ever.

nc: tell us about all the shocking things you've done 'accidentally' aside from smoking crack.
db: far too embarrassing to go into here. i did have a phase of climbing on people’s roofs whilst artificially enthused which is terrifying in retrospect.

nc: are you going to miss us?
db: not if you carry on like this.

nc: what's your favorite scene in silence of the lambs, and why?
db: the bit in the ambulance when realisation dawns. nice bit of cinema.

nc: 2001: a space odyssey is a film about loneliness. discuss.
db: it certainly evokes the feeling of intense boredom one would associate with being stuck alone on a spaceship for ever.

nc: why did longpigs split up?
db: because not enough people liked them.

and that’s it.  the last of the nc - barnett files.  we wish him the best of luck with the boyfriends.  god knows the world needs more bands at the moment, especially since the suede split.  hopefully, all you degenerates out there who didn’t buy mobile home will go out and support the boyfriends.  you might even run into richard there, or that cute guy from radiohead.  and if you’re lucky, maybe you’ll meet wouk.  so if you start missing david, go to a boyfriends gig, buy his book (a murder mystery based on the songs of roxy music, if i remember) or visit ebay. 

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